Those roaches are so big you can put saddles on them? They’re “Palmetto Bugs.”

July 10, 2009

hehehehe, rules of Savannah… http://savannahnow.com/node/327929

This city does have a lot of character, especially since I live downtown. I understand why authors are drawn to it. I am.

Some of my favorite rules:

25. “Abercorn”: An ancient Indian word meaning “traffic light every 50 feet.”

53. Expect your cable to go out when it rains. Or when it’s partly cloudy. Or on any day that ends with “y.”

64. Those roaches are so big you can put saddles on them? They’re “Palmetto Bugs.”

80. The editorial page at the Morning News isn’t really conservative; it’s just opposed to “change for change’s sake” (like those new-fangled horseless carriages)

84. A fistful of quarters comes in handy when you finally find a parking space downtown. We hear they make excellent brass knuckles too.

0. East Liberty Street becomes Wheaton Street which becomes Skidaway Road. Don’t get us started on Bull St aka White Bluff aka Coffee Rd aka Coffee Point…

91. Trying to get somewhere on Bay Street? Top off your tank and take a snack.

98. Yield when you enter a square. Unless you don’t feel like it.

Speaking of “palmetto bugs”… they have crossed the line and they are GOING DOWN. Mostly because they teamed up with ants, rats??, termites?? flies, gnats, mosquitoes, and all other manner of creature bent on invading my territory. The last straw was the one that crawled out of the iron while I was using it.

I never kill bugs, NEVER. In college I would rant at my roommate that she was homicidal because she would kill centipedes in our room–I would take them outside. But this is WAR. I will not tolerate mutant roaches dive bombing me and crawling on the PS2.

So I put my humanity on the backburner and grabbed some deadly weapons–Combat cartridges (made specifically big enough for Savannah style roaches) and Raid. I am reclaiming the apartment for the glory of French Fry Kitties.

(edit: the last few days since I made my first attack, I haven’t seen any alive….several dead, however, including one that had crawled into the bag I bring to work, ugh D: )


Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2009

I’ve never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day.  When I was in high school, I felt I had More Important things on my mind than dating and it wasn’t until I graduated that I was ever really attracted to anyone anyway.  The expected cookie cutter gifts are both soulless and uninteresting to me.  Flowers?  Keep ’em planted.  Jewelry?  I’m extremely picky and barely ever wear it anyway.

So at some point I decided the V in V-Day should stay for Video Games because I like having an excuse to celebrate and it embraces everyone, single or not.  Who doesn’t like Video games?!  What a great bonding experience, very personal to me and I can’t be the only one that finds great means of foreplay in multiplayer games (shutup, I mean 2 player).

I’m also a huge geek for the Vagina Monologues and it’s my tradition to see it every year I can find it playing.

So, one year my deer exroomie gave me a Valetine’s Day card.  I hadn’t even realized that’s what day it was so I rushed home and designed one for her as well as for Madeline, her then-flatmate.

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Heart -> Hat has become our expression of affection as evidenced at our first post-college reunion:

PS She likes my sexy ligaments (that’s what the pinching motions are about)


Krissy the Destroyer of Worlds Part 2

January 19, 2009

wii8

upsidedowncat

After a bath:

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She’s meditating really hard…

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krissyxdoor

krissywearsclothes

She would refuse to get out of the sink unless I turned the water on T_T

krissysink

“HAY MILO!!111”

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krissyontower

krissynpercynekid

krissymilonap

krissymess

krissymario

krissyisvain

krissyisinterested

Krissy was bizarrely fascinated with Kate’s purse.  She stuck her head in and would not get out.  We’d pet her and wiggle her butt around, she’d just go ‘mmmRRRRRR’ and not move.’

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Krissy’s romance with an ice cube:


Krissy the Destroyer of Worlds Part 1

January 19, 2009

In Charlottesville, I lived with a gorgeous and fiesty little kitten named Krissy.  She loved ice cubes, hide and seek, and eating everything.

Living with animals is truly an adventure.  She would go to sleep on my face at 3am, purring sweetly, and other times she would flip out and bite.  I think kitties all have PMS.  Or MPS.  Or both.

She was not graceful.  She’d pounce her tree house, miss, barely regain herself, all while making weird trilling noises.  Once I waved a towel in front of her like a bull fighter and she quacked at me.

krissyinbag

krissyinabag

Krissy and her buddy Percy.  She liked to carry him around, loved to play fetch with him and of course, cuddle him.

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krissygetmilotail

krissyfridgecrop

krissyfordinner

krissycooks

krissydrawer

krissyboobs2

kittenprinter

i has a fax

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croppedcutie

croppedraawwrr

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Krissy and “uncle” Milo.  She tormented him so much she got kicked out of his house!  She was originally Trevor’s mom’s cat.

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Krissy’s romance with boxes:


Halloween is my favorite holiday

January 18, 2009

Wow I look horrifyingly young in my kitsune getup.

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This was actually for a little independent film in Charlottesville involving the The Falsies.  I never did get a copy of the DVD.  I was an Extra Goth that got to turn into a zombie.

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Because we love 8-Bit Theatre.  And Final Fantasy.  But mostly 8-Bit Theatre.  Yes, my natural hair color is disgusting, I’m sorry to subject  you to it.

lightwarriors

katana1

There was a Goth Night at college but I don’t think I ended up going to it because I didn’t really know the people going.

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This is my ghetto version of Princess Toadstool using my Ren Faire/halloween dress and a plushie Koopa/Bowser.  And fake blood.  I don’t know why Koopa is a vampire.

toadstool

The awesomest costume ever!  Hand-made by me except the head and design by Beth.

monsterjumpa

I like to walk around downtown areas on Halloween.  Everyone wants to get a picture! One time, we even got a tip =o  Erm, this last time though… I instead got some french fries stuffed into my jaw.  They got squished and fell everywhere when I took off the head D:

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Evil Mushroom and Bomb-Omb pumpkins

Evil Mushroom and Bomb-Omb pumpkins

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Monsters dancin’ to some street performer music though my camera at the time didn’t record sound. You can see the lights in the eyes if not the move-able jaw.


Peep Brilliance

January 18, 2009

Once upon a time, I had a brilliant idea.

peepbrilliance

Note:  Do not add cat unless you like hacking hairballs.


In which Zellie fails at Cooking

January 18, 2009

Once upon a time, I was at college. For the most part, I was on a meal plan (which managed to both make me too fat and too skinny, according to who you ask). But on weekends, I was on my own (plus their weekend food was soggy leftovers eww). We had a kitchen right across from our dorm room but I’m a level 1 cook and you don’t get kitchen access till you’re at least level 10 (and then only starting with grilled cheese).

So I bought Ramen. My deer exroomie, Christina, used to get the cups of it and scrap off her vegetables to give me (she still does this and mails them to me in baggies!). One day I wanted to be adventurous, maybe get enough XP to level up so instead of getting Ramen, I got Ramyun (?) which is like Korean ramen.

It came in a bowl and I don’t read Korean so I figured it was like the mighty Cup o’ Noodles, just pop some water in and zap it.

So I did.

And there were fireworks.

LOTS OF FIREWORKS.

Popping, bright colors, the fire department, the works. (Actually, while there was a fire every semester I was at Longwood, I was not the cause of any of them)

So I took it out and inspected. The top looked like it had metal on it which Christina tells me does not play nice with microwaves. So I took the top off and zapped it again.

MORE FIREWORKS!

Apparently there was a scrap of metal left around the edge of the bowl which, now that I think of it, seemed distinctly plastic and probably not in any way microwave-safe.

I have since stuck to regular Ramen ._.