Query dreams, the end is nigh, dreaming big, writing workshops, where are they?

By the time I post this, I will have finished my hardcore edits. I HOPE D:! Below you shall be blessed with my unique brand of procrastinating from writing: …more writing….(and more, and more…)

OH GOD CRAMPS D:

haha usually I’m dedicated, but not THAT dedicated… crampytime tends to be the only time I tear myself away from the computer to do something like play video games (Bioshock, incidentally, is very well written) or watch a movie.

but today the writing MUST GO ON!

besides, Jennifer just got back from the hospital and wrote us all a huge long email…..if she can do it post-surgury then I have no excuses ._.

Onward and upward….!

I live by a few phrases:
You make your own happiness
Do unto others as you would want done unto you
Hope for the best but prepare for the worst

Given the last one, I’m currently in a safe zone with my writing. Near enough to the end and experienced enough to know I’ll finish the novel and I’m damn proud of my writing. As I hardcore edit the last few pages and then do my last read through, I’m taking a self-indulgent moment to day dream that querying will be magic. That (haha!) every agent will request my full – I can hear myself screaming and sure hope it’s not something I find out at work. I imagine them calling me because they adore it and we chat over my WIPs which they also love, I must struggle valiently to pick the agent that meshes best with me. I can’t help but casually mention ‘Why yes, I DO have an agent’ to a few choice people who I might fling a few other choice words in the face of. From there I’ll immediately get a wonderful publishing contract with such a large advance that I can walk into the bubble tea place (uh, that no longer exists ): ) and treat everyone in there to tea, that writing will become my career, the book will be in stores from small to huge, that I’ll couch surf around America doing a tour and stop by critique groups, I’ll set up writing workshops (there aren’t nearly enough out there), attend conventions, do interviews that reveal parts I loved but had to cut, and write write write write~!! Fabulous!

Right now I have the opportunity to indulge myself but when I start querying that’s when I go into ‘prepare for the worst’ mode which means I cut myself down, expect nothing so I can let rejections roll off my back and so if/when I get request(s) it’ll be a pleasant surprise. And all the while working my ass off on the next book as preperation for ‘the worst’ which would be no representation (yet).

This mentality serves me well. It’ll be my second time querying (previously the book was too long and the query didn’t have enough personality) and last time the rejections honestly didn’t bother me. I don’t go through the rollercoaster writer’s talk about. It is what it is. I actually was working on Deep Within and thinking that Lightning Spliced had unpublishable qualities–Karen and a few other fantastic beta readers kicked my butt in gear, got me to edit out parts I used to think were essential. It was like shining the rough till it becomes a diamond (is that too cliche?) I’m confident in my novel, if agents can’t see that it’s great then I’ll just keep writing and eventually one of my novels will strike someone’s fancy πŸ™‚

As I write this, I wonder if an agent will google my name from my query and judge me on it. Do I sound too blase? Do I look lazy because I didn’t look up how to add the accent on blase? Do I look crazy because I wrote a sentence to explain the lack of accent when it would have taken less time to look up the accent? Do my questions make me appear self-concious, does my questioning my questions damage my image of confidence? Does my assumption of confidence smack of egotism? etc etc etc

I don’t know. I like to think I’d fit well with an agent with understands Web 2.0, that the draw of social media isn’t just the presense but the depth….personality shines not in the perfection of a Hollywood commercial but in our flaws. Not that we shouldn’t be polite and put on our best face but we shouldn’t neuter ourselves in the process. Everyone can relate to flaws but who can relate to being perfect? Haha but since no one is perfect and since beggers can’t be chosers, I’d be happy to land a reputable agent who is happy to represent my work πŸ˜‰ everything else is just details.

I got really excited for a day because there’s a writer convention going on in DC around the time I’ll be up there………but I was wondering why I’d never heard of any of the guests. Well, looking closer it’s a short story focused convention πŸ˜› I HATE SHORT STORIES. I know it’d be good for my career and good structural practice to write some but damnit I can’t stand reading them let alone writing them. They’re all so freaking high concept but I want vivid characters. If they do have those, I feel cheated because the stories are over so fast but I want to spend a series with a good character.

A rare symbolic and writing related dream:

I was on a metal stair case much like the one in MGS near the Hind and also much like the staircase in GAMA leading to the roof at the end of the novel. There was a light on where I entered the staircase (which was about halfway up the building), I ran up a bunch of flights, ran down a bunch of flights, back and forth, kept coming back to the place with the light on, couldn’t find anywhere else with the light on. It’s hope for my query, the light is that there’s one line that almost everyone liked… but I can’t seem to hammer down any of the other lines πŸ˜›

Hmmm April Rain by Delain sounds like April THUNDER OF DOOM. <3metal.

I have an addiction to describing eyes. I'm really enjoying Zcythe's right now. Originally she had purple contacts. I like purple but how ordinary for contacts….so I searched special effects and came up wiith BIOHAZARD contacts. They glow in UV light! I hate yellow so I don't use it much, but what a great use for it.

Hardcore edits have finished, Query Hell round #666 will commence tomorrow. Thankfully absolutewrite.com is up after major construction time over Labor Day weekend.

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